Please, Use With Caution

Some Don't Have Enough of this While Others Have Exceeded The Recommended Dosage

Before I get started, let me say this: There is nothing wrong with having great self-esteem! A high self-esteem level will take you a long way! The fact that you exude a natural confidence in any and every situation makes you feel invincible as if you can conquer the world! Nothing can stop you and whatever it is you are trying to achieve. It doesn't go unnoticed or unrewarded. But, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm speaking about the ones that think a little too highly of themselves. The one's that walk around as if their shit doesn't stink and have the mindset that all others are below them. People with these personality traits say they have great self-esteem, but I'm starting to wonder how true this is. I mean, should your confidence come from making others feel bad about themselves? Really? I think not. When people do this, their self-esteem isn't as great as they portray it to be. They put on a front for whatever reason to those around them or spend money excessively on frivolous items to compensate how they really feel about themselves. Those are the ones I have no words for. Then, you have the ones that like to brag about EVERYTHING they have. The one's that try to buy you with their "promises" of what they can do for you. They do this because it makes them feel needed. By the way, I don't entertain those types either. People will have more respect for you if you just be yourself. We all have issues from time to time so you're not alone. All I'm saying is, we see right through you. So, cut the shit and STOP FRONTING!

"Envy is thin because it bites but never eats." ~Spanish Proverb

JEALOUSLY. For the life of me, I will never understand it. It was first introduced to me as a child while learning about the story of Cain and Abel. [Genesis 4: 1-8] It's a very sad, but very real emotion. One of the worst & dangerous ones out there in fact! No matter what we have, no matter what we do, no matter who we are-- there will always be that 1 person (or in some cases, more than 1) that will envy you for the things that you have. Ranging from promotions at work, to something as simple as a compliment on a pair of shoes or a nice dress. If there's a reason, trust that someone will find it! People will be jealous of you for things you can't even control at times. Your bra size, hair grade or even the color of your skin can lead to someone disliking you! Crazy, right? Again, I'll never understand it nor will I try to. I've learned that people will always have something to say, no matter what. Unfortunately, this is something that I've personally experienced my entire life. My most recent encounter was within the last month. I've recently received a promotion at work which FINALLY gives me schedule and flexibility I've always wanted. (And the rate increase isn't so bad either.) ;-) But, what I noticed was that with most, the news went well and I received well wishes from fellow family, friends & co-workers... But, as for others-- they made sure to go out their way to express that they DID NOT share my same emotion regarding my good news & recent blessings. It's quite a shame, actually. I won't go into specifics as to what was said and done. What I will say is, well-- ask is WHY? Why do some females have a problem with being happy for others? I've had females (unbeknownst to me) say that they didn't like me and when asked why (by the people that they would tell this info to), they would say, "I don't know, I just don't". Now, what does that sound like to you? To not like a person and not be able to give 1 valid reason as to why is baffling to me! It's bullshit is what it is! And, do you want to know what the sad part is? There was a time in my life ( in my childhood & adolescent years) when I actually cared about not being liked. I used to wonder why I would get eyes rolled at me and why girls would say things about me that weren't a true portrayal of me. Especially when I felt I'd given no reason for this in the first place. But then, one day I grew up. I realized that there are actually people out there that do not want to see you happy. No matter how nice you are to them, no matter what you may do for them-- they will never be happy for you. I've found that this is mainly because they see something in you that they themselves do not naturally possess. There's something you have that unfortunately, they never will. But in the words of my good friend, @FilthyMcDave -- "Take it up with Christ"!

Truth Is...

Sorry, fellas but I have to keep it real on this one! It's a new year, so why not start it off with the honest truth! NEWS FLASH: NO WOMAN WANTS TO DEAL WITH A BROKE/ DEPENDENT MAN! Yes, some women do sometimes like to boast about being independent and not needing a man and etc..but we still yearn and melt for the same thing: a man that got his own, can take care of his own, and one that doesn't look us in the face with his hand out on payday! Now, I'm not speaking from complete experience on this one. I mean, I've had a few run-ins with some "busters" in my day. You know, the ones that don't have a car, can't keep a steady job, and doesn't have a pot to piss in if it ain't in his mama's house! Forgive me, I'm not trying to make this blog entry about "bashing men". I love men! Always have, always will. But keep in mind I did say that I was going to keep it real and understand that this doesn't pertain to ALL men! My thing is, how can you expect me to give you something as sweet as my honey-pot, when you don't even have a bed of your own for me to give it to you in?! Do some men think that deserve it off rip? Or is it that some are used to so many women giving "it" up to the point where they feel entitled? Either way, it ain't happening here. I'll be honest with you. There was a time when I had the mindset of giving it up because I wanted to. I would need that physical release (for whatever reason) & not really care about the other person's feelings. I didn't even bother to think that it may possibly change their perception of me as a woman. It was something I wanted. The thought process of "this is for me so to hell with him & his feelings" was somewhat my way of justifying the situation. But as time passed, I've noticed that having this way of thinking can be somewhat damaging. Because so many women was sharing the same mindset that I once was, most men no longer felt that they had to work for "it". Chivalry went out the window and down the fire escape! Some men felt like they just had to "show up"-- just them. No goals, no ambitions, no nothing about themselves...Just them & their "gold member". Well, I'm here to tell you, (in case you didn't know that is) that this is a new year [and being that I can only speak for myself], a new NEDRA! I regret to say that I've let some things slide in the past, but ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. *insert long exhale of relief here* That being said, in order for you to step to me or any other respectable woman please have the following: 1) Your own car! I am not a chauffeur and will not be picking you up and dropping you off to your destinations. Nor will you be borrowing my car! 2) Your own place to stay. If I wanna stay the night with you, it shouldn't involve the "okay" from your Mom. 3) A secure job or career: I'm a bit traditional and though I make my own money, I like a man who can "bring home the bacon". I can't respect a man with no grind! And no d-boys, please. Been there and done that. It never lasts and there can be no real future with us down the line. AND last but not least,>>>>>>>DRUMROLL PLEASE<<<<<<< 4) An education! Now, I'm not saying that you have to be perfect-- no one is perfect, myself included. I have emotional and physical flaws just like the next person & there are still some goals that I have not yet achieved in life. All I'm saying is, if you gonna come (especially if your goal is trying to eventually make me "cum") PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come CORRECT! And, no-- I'm not speaking about the women who like to "dig for gold" before they even give a man their first kiss or the ones that walk around with "loose lips". They're a totally different breed, so for now, I won't go there. By all means, continue to treat them as such. I'm speaking about a fair exchange. Where give and take is the understanding. The old ways/days when men wanted to prove themselves to a woman and wanted to show them how a "real man" could be before they hop in the sack. Men say that they want a woman whose independent, goes to the gym, keep their hair and nails flawless and most importantly, a woman that doesn't bitch & moan! Well, if you can ask those things of us, don't you think you should have your shit together, too?

Help, Please!

I swear, I need to purchase this book (or you can purchase it for me, lol) because I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FLIRT! For some reason, people do NOT believe me when I tell them this!
 If I did, I think I'd for SURE would have been married a second time or at least engaged by now! Sometimes, I think back and reflect on the number of times, a nice, ATTRACTIVE GUY will try to flirt with me and I won't even know what to say back! And if I do know what to say, I sometimes don't know HOW to say it. I just sort of....F R E E Z E . Lately, I've found that the most flirting that I do, is on my twitter page & via sms text & even that is at a minimum...I don't know, maybe it's because I'm not face-to face so I feel that there's less pressure. Don't get me wrong, I'm a confident, outgoing & somewhat outspoken person but for some reason I always get very shy when it comes to flirting or "approaching" a guy. It's just that...I don't know... I feel that flirting is somewhat of a game. I don't like games. I prefer for a  man to be straight up with me when it comes to what he wants. That's pretty much what I'm used to. That and the fact that I've only had 3 serious long-term relationships in my life where there was some but not a lot of flirting involved. Being single (for an amount of time which will remain undisclosed [lol]) has taught me that sometimes you DO have to speak up! I've found that some men are just as shy as I am. Some are intimidated, some assume that you are already spoken for and others simply don't know what to say! But, with the advice of my friends and some of my twitter "twiends"/followers, I have gotten a little bit better. I've been told (from most men) that they prefer for a woman to approach them. They find it as a turn-on! It's sexy! It puts them at ease and shows them that you're a "go getter". As long as you have the confidence and say what you mean, the rest will flow naturally. For the most part, I don't worry about flirting-- I just worry about being me! Well...I do occasionally add a wink & bat my lashes from time to time! It's a work in progress, so bare with me! LOL! ;)

"Wanting a man WITH money doesn't make you a gold digger. Wanting a man FOR his money makes you a gold digger." ~@Maestro

Ahhhh...*exhale of relief* Finally. Someone gets it! Someone understands that there is a difference between a woman wanting a man for his qualities & (not always) $quantity$! Now, if we could get the message across to some of the other men that have had this same misconception, we may be on to something here! My question is, why is that? Why do some men feel that a woman who desires a successful man with a nice salary,benefits, dividends, stock, etc. is a "Gold Digger"? It seems that men some have become accustomed to the "Independent Movement" that's been portrayed and empowered over the years. Yes, I do consider myself an independent female. At the same time, I also want my future boyfriend/fiance'/ 2nd husband[whoever he may be] to have the same thing. At least be in the beginning stages of working towards his success(e.g, education, internship, entry-level position,etc.). See, to me, a gold digger is someone that only takes & never gives. Nothing to contribute of their own and have no intentions AT ALL on doing so. Someone who is a always looking for a "hand-out". A female (and occasionally male) who gives up their goodies in exchange for other goods. However, someone who is seeking an indivdual who isjust as successful as they are, wanting to build a foundation and a loving partnership-- with suitable monetary security is not a gold digger, There's still bacon to be brought home people!m =)

Happy Valentines Day-- I think?

In the recently spoken and (somewhat) off-color words of Rhianna, I figured that the above picture was only appropriate given today's special occasion. By some, this was the attitude that was being spread across my social networking pages by fellow Twitter followers and Face Book friends worldwide! What I wanna know is, what happened? Why the bitterness? Just because you don't have a valentine doesn't mean that you should go shitting on those that do! And who said that Valentine's Day could only be enjoyed with your mate of the opposite (or for some, the same) sex? There are sooooo many other ways that you could enjoy the day! Spend time with family by treating them to a nice breakfast or dinner! Take your kids out & play! Or, (as I've done before) make it a "girls' day" with your closest female friends! Go speed dating & get a kick out the laughs that you will(FOR SURE)get!<---- (and don't ask me how I know about it!) Whatever you do, don't get upset with those that have someone to call their own or spend the day with. Your time will come, if you let it--trust me.

The show WILL go on...But NOT for me!

Now that I've approached the lovely age of 26, I've come to realize that the club scene is NO LONGER for me. I'm definately not against those that still choose to patron at these local spots. I'm just saying that for ME, the curtain has closed. I believe that over the years ,I've grown tired of the "approach". The men that have approaced me(and not all, but some)have not been the type that I would want to take home to my parents! I mean,trying to get my attention with the "cat calls" (i.e Redd, Shawty, Lil'Mama, and "PINK" <-- or whatever color I'm wearing at the time) is an immediate turn-off! Grown women should be treated with the upmost respect at ALL times! Keep in mind, I said WOMEN-- I'm not speaking about little girls whose eyes still gleam with they see a set of 24's driving down I-75. Again, I'm not saying all men are like this. I'm just saying that for ME, these are the type of women that men are used to meeting in clubs. The kind that are preoccupied with themselves and their material belongings. When they have no success with me using the same pick-up line that usually gets them to second-base with the next chick, things sometimes tend to get--ugly. And don't get me started on the ones that love to babysit us because they bought us a drink on $2.00 Tuesday! You know the ones, they buy you a drink and then what started off as small talk, then becomes "This nigga is holding me hostage!" Then there are the ones that loooove to sneak, stand, or jump behind us while we're dancing! We want so badly to tell them, "Ugh, um sir, can I do me with just me please!" I do sometimes miss the ever so interesting & entertaining atmosphere of nightclubs, but I think I'll stay away for a while. Maybe venture into a couple of "Grown folks" spots where the men still believe in courting a woman. Men, we love you, adore you, and we DO want you. But please, give a girl her space!