Monday, January 10, 2011
Please, Use With Caution
"Envy is thin because it bites but never eats." ~Spanish Proverb
JEALOUSLY. For the life of me, I will never understand it. It was first introduced to me as a child while learning about the story of Cain and Abel. [Genesis 4: 1-8] It's a very sad, but very real emotion. One of the worst & dangerous ones out there in fact! No matter what we have, no matter what we do, no matter who we are-- there will always be that 1 person (or in some cases, more than 1) that will envy you for the things that you have. Ranging from promotions at work, to something as simple as a compliment on a pair of shoes or a nice dress. If there's a reason, trust that someone will find it! People will be jealous of you for things you can't even control at times. Your bra size, hair grade or even the color of your skin can lead to someone disliking you! Crazy, right? Again, I'll never understand it nor will I try to. I've learned that people will always have something to say, no matter what. Unfortunately, this is something that I've personally experienced my entire life. My most recent encounter was within the last month. I've recently received a promotion at work which FINALLY gives me schedule and flexibility I've always wanted. (And the rate increase isn't so bad either.) ;-) But, what I noticed was that with most, the news went well and I received well wishes from fellow family, friends & co-workers... But, as for others-- they made sure to go out their way to express that they DID NOT share my same emotion regarding my good news & recent blessings. It's quite a shame, actually. I won't go into specifics as to what was said and done. What I will say is, well-- ask is WHY? Why do some females have a problem with being happy for others? I've had females (unbeknownst to me) say that they didn't like me and when asked why (by the people that they would tell this info to), they would say, "I don't know, I just don't". Now, what does that sound like to you? To not like a person and not be able to give 1 valid reason as to why is baffling to me! It's bullshit is what it is! And, do you want to know what the sad part is? There was a time in my life ( in my childhood & adolescent years) when I actually cared about not being liked. I used to wonder why I would get eyes rolled at me and why girls would say things about me that weren't a true portrayal of me. Especially when I felt I'd given no reason for this in the first place. But then, one day I grew up. I realized that there are actually people out there that do not want to see you happy. No matter how nice you are to them, no matter what you may do for them-- they will never be happy for you. I've found that this is mainly because they see something in you that they themselves do not naturally possess. There's something you have that unfortunately, they never will. But in the words of my good friend, @FilthyMcDave -- "Take it up with Christ"!
Truth Is...
Sorry, fellas but I have to keep it real on this one! It's a new year, so why not start it off with the honest truth! NEWS FLASH: NO WOMAN WANTS TO DEAL WITH A BROKE/ DEPENDENT MAN! Yes, some women do sometimes like to boast about being independent and not needing a man and etc..but we still yearn and melt for the same thing: a man that got his own, can take care of his own, and one that doesn't look us in the face with his hand out on payday! Now, I'm not speaking from complete experience on this one. I mean, I've had a few run-ins with some "busters" in my day. You know, the ones that don't have a car, can't keep a steady job, and doesn't have a pot to piss in if it ain't in his mama's house! Forgive me, I'm not trying to make this blog entry about "bashing men". I love men! Always have, always will. But keep in mind I did say that I was going to keep it real and understand that this doesn't pertain to ALL men! My thing is, how can you expect me to give you something as sweet as my honey-pot, when you don't even have a bed of your own for me to give it to you in?! Do some men think that deserve it off rip? Or is it that some are used to so many women giving "it" up to the point where they feel entitled? Either way, it ain't happening here. I'll be honest with you. There was a time when I had the mindset of giving it up because I wanted to. I would need that physical release (for whatever reason) & not really care about the other person's feelings. I didn't even bother to think that it may possibly change their perception of me as a woman. It was something I wanted. The thought process of "this is for me so to hell with him & his feelings" was somewhat my way of justifying the situation. But as time passed, I've noticed that having this way of thinking can be somewhat damaging. Because so many women was sharing the same mindset that I once was, most men no longer felt that they had to work for "it". Chivalry went out the window and down the fire escape! Some men felt like they just had to "show up"-- just them. No goals, no ambitions, no nothing about themselves...Just them & their "
Help, Please!
I swear, I need to purchase this book (or you can purchase it for me, lol) because I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FLIRT! For some reason, people do NOT believe me when I tell them this!
If I did, I think I'd for SURE would have been married a second time or at least engaged by now! Sometimes, I think back and reflect on the number of times, a nice, ATTRACTIVE GUY willtry to flirt with me and I won't even know what to say back! And if I do know what to say, I sometimes don't know HOW to say it. I just sort of....F R E E Z E . Lately, I've found that the most flirting that I do, is on my twitter page & via sms text & even that is at a minimum...I don't know, maybe it's because I'm not face-to face so I feel that there's less pressure. Don't get me wrong, I'm a confident, outgoing & somewhat outspoken person but for some reason I always get very shy when it comes to flirting or "approaching" a guy. It's just that...I don't know... I feel that flirting is somewhat of a game. I don't like games. I prefer for a man to be straight up with me when it comes to what he wants. That's pretty much what I'm used to. That and the fact that I've only had 3 serious long-term relationships in my life where there was some but not a lot of flirting involved. Being single (for an amount of time which will remain undisclosed [lol]) has taught me that sometimes you DO have to speak up! I've found that some men are just as shy as I am. Some are intimidated, some assume that you are already spoken for and others simply don't know what to say! But, with the advice of my friends and some of my twitter "twiends"/followers, I have gotten a little bit better. I've been told (from most men) that they prefer for a woman to approach them. They find it as a turn-on! It's sexy! It puts them at ease and shows them that you're a "go getter". As long as you have the confidence and say what you mean, the rest will flow naturally. For the most part, I don't worry about flirting-- I just worry about being me! Well...I do occasionally add a wink & bat my lashes from time to time! It's a work in progress, so bare with me! LOL! ;)
If I did, I think I'd for SURE would have been married a second time or at least engaged by now! Sometimes, I think back and reflect on the number of times, a nice, ATTRACTIVE GUY will
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